Good-looking, smart, hard-working, humble, nonjudgemental, caring women with good attitudes are living with sexual anorexia doing legit sort of low-paying, low-status type jobs such as servers, bagging groceries at Trader Joe's, driving rideshare, and delivering packages for Amazon; these are the same low-skill jobs that women in this business if they were to get a job outside of this business would probably be doing, and maybe these women are even at point with it that they are somewhat confused or indifferent with regard to their sexuality because it's been so long since they've gotten any attention from men.

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Prices got low in this business because of sex traffick, but most of the sex traffick is gone because during the Trump administration the Asian sex traffick got somehow deported and thankfully banned from the internet. We've got to vote in people who will rein in immigration because now we have more people coming in illegally than legally. The Mexican cartels are basically running our immigration policy. That's got to stop. We should only be letting immigrants into this country who make America great. And in all honesty, America let millennials and Generation Z women down with our overly generous immigration policies. How are we defending and protecting American women by letting into this country such low-priced sex traffick? And so, in contrast to Generation X women, who brought us the Me-Too movement and tend to be fierce about keeping their standards high, there's more of a tendency in later generations for women to think that if they want to be competitive, they've got to lower their standards. And Generation X women are saying, "You've got to be stubborn about keeping your standards high. You can't budge on your standards. You've got to be willing to say if I can't make such and such for such and such, then I'm not doing this job. I'm not going to do this for such low prices. I don't freaking care." That's what Generation X women are like. 

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Here's a scenario: Your daughter who's a freshman in college goes to a fraternity party where she meets a senior. He's been to an eighteen and over club, and for a $75 tip the girls in the club are doing such and such. His parents have money, so he's able to drop some cash on this. He's been having these experiences, and he's rabid and feral. And your daughter, maybe she's a little dorky, a little frumpy, and she's had too much to drink. She doesn't remember what happened; he's naked; she does remember, though, that they had been spending the whole evening talking and flirting with each other. Afterwards, she tried reconnecting with him, but he ignored her. Should she be offended by that? Maybe she should let it go. Maybe that happens to her often, and she's got to be okay with that (not to say that she is totally okay with that). My sense of it is that for Generation Z women, that's how it is.

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The Me-Too movement fell flat. Generation X women are too heavy handed with sexual assault awareness. And now, there's the bourgeoning Men's Movement, and something called a War on Boys. In school and from a young age, boys become disengaged and underperform academically in part because they more often get in trouble for their behavior than girls do. Boys want to turn kitchen fixtures into fake weapons; they're into competition, territory, aggression, and taking risks. They're different from women. Men want women to stop conflating every awkward hookup misunderstanding with rape. Maybe it was weird; maybe it was inappropriate. Men say they've had weird hookup scenarios with women that made them uncomfortable; women in the context of hooking up with a guy can make the sex more intense than the guy had intended it to be; that's nonconceptual; women rape and harass men too; the woman might say that it seemed like he instigated it. And there are situations where a woman might be offended at a hookup where the guy was awkward and pushy, but the guy might've totally misinterpreted her friendliness and thought she was flirting with him. 

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In a sex-negative culture, pleasure is sinful and there are only narrow scripts for appropriate sexual encounters. In a sex-positive culture, the only requirement for an acceptable sexual encounter is consent.

Yes, Means Yes

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What I like about this job is that once the man pays, the consent part of the encounter is worked out. Outside of this context, whether the interaction was consensual can become too much a point of contention. Also, too, it's a turn on to get paid. If a guy doesn't pay, he either can't afford it or for some reason is cheap and doesn't want to. Either way, the gentlemen who see women in this context, just by virtue of paying, are better. I've had the problem of trying to force a relationship more with my ego, but outside of this context it's more of the custom for women to hit on men. This was especially the case when I was working a legit job, had gained weight, and was sort of run down from my workload, was living sexual anorexia, and not ever meeting new men. What happens, though, is that when the woman more hits on the guy and the guy doesn't pay, it seems, from the man's perspective, like he didn't have to make much of an effort, and then what ends up happening is he more takes the woman for granted. 

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It used to be that there was social pressure among women in this business to keep our standards high. We knew that if one girl does such and such for such and such, then we all would have to lower our standards to compete with that one girl, and it just becomes a race to the bottom. Having high standards is a form of social responsibility. Somewhere around '12, with sex trafficking immigrants, we lost that sense of social responsibility. We need to get that sense of social responsibility back. We need to tighten up our borders and our immigration policy. We need to build up that sense of social responsibility, so we can have high standards for each other not just for the benefit of women in this business but for the benefit of all women.

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So if I've got such high standards, then why the heck do I have an escort ad on the internet? I applied to over five hundred jobs. I still have misgivings about doing this because of the low prices. That being said, I got way too fat during my last legit job and the sexual anorexia is severe. And this is the kind of job one might do just for fun and not even for the money. And maybe, who am I to say, that's the direction this business is going. I was probably in typical Generation X fashion, too stubborn about the standards. It's been about seven years of sexual anorexia. Judging myself harshly for craving to do this job, I went to a Sex Addict meeting. The meeting was pretty much filled with men who had cheated on their wives or girlfriends with prostitutes or are having a hard time staying in a monogamous committed relationship because of the sex he has had with prostitutes. Almost all sex addict meetings are like that. What is so addicting about sex with prostitutes, I wonder? The sex addicted married men had better sex with prostitutes than they have with their wives. This is what happens in a country where we put sexual purity too much on a pedestal as though the ideal is to marry the second person one ever has sex with. 

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What actually needs to happen for these sex addicted men is that they need to sexually addict the women who are sexually addicting them. The prostitutes are basically saying, "Fuck off, dork!" Competition and aggression can be a great thing: And I don't mean be smug about how the women in this business probably aren't managing their money correctly. I mean work on this: Go to the gym and put on muscle. Go to the cosmetic dermatologist. Take a good look at yourself. What is it about your looks that isn't up to par with the Bradley Coopers or the George Clooneys or that guy in Crazy Rich Asians. Switch up your personality from oppressive, judgmental, insecure, and condescending to something more like sexy, fun, and cool. And yet, these men sort of resign themselves to a life spent withdrawing and overcoming strong cravings. Maybe these men should divorce their wives and apply themselves to some confidence and muscle building, self-development routine to transform themselves from dorky sex addicted married guy to his most sexually appealing self, but because of his bond with his wife, he's not going on that journey because she's not going on that journey. So what I'm saying is that for younger men, go on that transformational journey. This situation of the best sex you have ever had in your life is when you're middle-aged, married, and cheat on your wife with prostitutes is an unfortunate situation. 

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Something else I notice about these sex addicted men is that there is something awkward and unrefined in their sexual self-expression, but due to their intense experience with a prostitute, they become inspired, and they have an urge to explore this part of himself, but he can't. We have a mating crisis in America. I know plenty of women who have the hardest time just meeting someone whom she is genuinely attracted to. These men need to refine and enhance their sexual self-expression. Women want a strong, intense, powerful bond, an amazing connection. Of course, our society is filled with uptight, sexually repressed, and abusive people, and we've all been programmed by religion to think sex is bad and so we often don't become our highest self. And because of that, many women are frustrated and disappointed by how many men they meet whom they aren't attracted to at all. Seeing prostitutes is a form of self-discovery.

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Sitting in one of the meetings, I thought to myself, "if he just put on a lot of muscle." If he stopped going to these sex addict meetings, divorced his wife, started seeing more escorts, just allowed himself to enjoy the experiences he has with escorts, and date women outside of this context too, he'd transform himself from a dorky man who's sort of unsure of himself and isn't all that sexually appealing to a man who has some real potential, but I don't know if he has that vision for himself. It seems he feels guilty and bad for seeing prostitutes, so now he's clinging to the Sex Addict program and the twelve steps. And I don't know if he's going to, through the Sex Addict program, realize the kind of amazing encounters he could be having with women. 

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It was apropos, me finding myself at the Portland Zoom Sex Addict meeting. Pretty much all of them just happened to be blue-eyed 100 percent European men. Taking into account the nature of recessive genes, it's sort of unlikely we'd have so many 100 percent European people in this country. These men had great great grandfathers who most likely came out West in the 19th century. In the early part of the 19th century, a very young Abraham Lincoln was in the Mid-West and in the U.S. Army where he had moved Native Americans out of that area. Later, after the Civil War, the U.S. army went farther out West: committing genocide and moving Native Americans to the worst land in the country. At the time, of course, interracial marriage was outlawed, but we also put brothels in those towns we had setup as we were settling the West because at the time the U.S. government wanted the ancestors of these people to be 100 percent European. The book East of Eden by John Steinbeck is about a town in Northern California in the late 19th century.

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A kind of light spread out from her. And everything changed color. And the world opened out. And a day was good to awaken to. And there were no limits to anything. And the people of the world were good and handsome. And I was not afraid anymore. 

 

In the early '40s, the U.S. sent back to Nazi Germany boats filled with Jewish people. Later, though, we became much more open about this country being a nation of immigrants. In fact, it does seem that in modern U. S., it's no problem that the respectable, middle-class, well-educated daughters of ethnic minority immigrants who immigrated into this country in the '60s through the '90s are in a unique position to be the interracial dating beneficiaries of our racist 19th century policies. In other words, it's hypocritical for these women to be self-righteous about their academic and career accomplishments, judge women who are in this business harshly, vie for us to be sidelined in dating opportunities, and feel they should be rewarded for doing the right thing if they have benefitted as far as interracial dating opportunities are concerned from the prostitutes of the 19th century. (Also, I should note that there isn't anything inherently racist about the prostitute business. In Nazi Germany, for example, Hitler ranted about how much he despised "big city whores" because they had sex with ethnic minority men. He thought women should only be having sex with Aryan men.) So anyhow, because of our history, it should be just as normalized for a man to see an escort as it is for a man to date an ethnic minority. There shouldn't ever be anything wrong with consensual sex, and that's not to say that I agree with nonconsensual nonmonogamy.